so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
