I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I stole a fireplace last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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