I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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