you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
