My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am available for nakedness
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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