Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
