It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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