There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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