Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
