if i can run in heels then i can drive
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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