Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
