Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
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I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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