At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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