So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
