Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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