If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
