Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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