why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
