so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
