No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
