Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
