we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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