He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
