idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
