It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
