I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just pee around me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
