One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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