I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
