I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
