You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
