I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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