is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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