So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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