Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
