I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
