were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
