I skipped work to stalk him.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize