the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
