is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
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That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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