my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
