she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
