her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my poor anus
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
