I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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