everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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