we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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