the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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