i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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