singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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