in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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