Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
