They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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