you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
