pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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