It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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