I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize