I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize