so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
this hospital has no fireball
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize