I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
