the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
