She's JV to your varsity
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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