none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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