you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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