so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They took my balls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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