this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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