come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
